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Tables of Contents for Forever, Erma
Chapter/Section Title
Page #
Page Count
Foreword
xi
 
Hello, Young Mothers
Paint Tint Caper---September 4, 1965
1
1
Birds, Bees and Guppies---January 6, 1966
2
1
Good Neighbor Policy---May 16, 1966
3
2
Waking Up Momma---July 4, 1966
5
1
When Last Child Goes to School---September 5, 1966
6
1
Surviving Motherhood---September 1966
7
1
Costume for the School Play---May 29, 1968
8
1
Outgrowing Naps---August 14, 1968
9
2
A Mother's Eye---August 18, 1968
11
1
No More Oatmeal Kisses---January 29, 1969
12
1
Confirmed Shouter---March 5, 1969
13
1
Youngest Child Tries to Tell a Joke---May 23, 1969
14
1
``Are We Rich?''---June 3, 1971
15
1
When God Created Mothers---May 12, 1974
16
2
Motherhood---Love and Laughter---September 1974
18
1
How to Communicate with Toddlers---December 1974
19
1
The Twelve Days of School---September 1975
20
1
``Things My Mother Taught Me'' Assignment---September 28, 1975
21
1
A Baby's Bill of Rights---November 13, 1975
22
1
Happiness and Motherhood---April 24, 1980
23
1
Disposable Diapers---February 8, 1990
24
2
Spit---March 18, 1990
26
2
All My Children
Children Cornering the Coin Market---January 5, 1965
28
2
My Son, the President---October 30, 1965
30
1
``I Don't Want to Go to Grandma's''---May 1966
31
1
Going Deaf from Rock `n' Roll---January 23, 1967
32
2
Daughter Learning to Drive---July 18, 1969
34
1
Phone Messages---October 22, 1969
35
1
Working Mom's Telephone Crisis---May 28, 1971
36
2
I've Always Loved You Best---July 20, 1971
38
1
Mike and the Grass---May 1973
39
1
Live-in Neighbor Child---September 30, 1973
40
1
Kids: Life's Greatest Mysteries---July 29, 1975
41
1
I Loved You Enough to...---January 6, 1976
42
1
Parents Get Apartment---June 6, 1976
43
1
Children Are Like Kites---May 15, 1977
44
2
Summertime Blues---August 3, 1978
46
1
Local or Toll Call Girlfriend?---February 1, 1979
47
1
Marching to a Different Drummer---November 3, 1979
48
1
Parenthood Is Worth the Risks---September 2, 1980
49
1
Favorite Child---May 10, 1981
50
1
The First Day of School---September 3, 1981
51
1
Third Child---November 5, 1981
52
1
Mother-Son Dialogue---January 13, 1987
53
2
Different Mother for Each Child---June 26, 1990
55
1
Housewife's Lament
Soap Operas---June 1, 1965
56
1
Lost Identity---September 18, 1965
57
2
When the Memory Starts to Go---June 9, 1967
59
1
Subversive Window Washer---September 29, 1967
60
1
Sewing-Basket Blues---November 21, 1969
61
2
Ironing---June 10, 1971
63
1
The Mother Who Drives---June 11, 1972
64
1
Making Paycheck Stretch---October 1972
65
1
A Housewife's Prayer---October 1974
66
1
Mom Last to Get Cold---October 16, 1975
67
2
``I Was 37 Years Old at the Time''---August 7, 1976
69
1
Dumpy Paper Dress---March 31, 1977
70
1
Handbags---October 25, 1977
71
1
Bizarre Accidents---November 29, 1981
72
1
Turning into Mother---June 1, 1989
73
2
Love and Marriage
Get Well for Mom---April 3, 1966
75
1
Cleaning Out the Attic---December 28, 1966
76
2
Interpreting the Checkbook---April 24, 1967
78
1
Men Have a Six-Word Limit---July 23, 1969
79
1
Car Hits a Tree---January 24, 1971
80
1
Daytime Husband, Nocturnal Wife---March 22, 1971
81
2
Keeping Track of Valuable Papers---June 1972
83
1
Husband Born Late---October 8, 1972
84
1
Husband Dreads Hammering Nails in the Wall---November 23, 1972
85
1
My Husband the Prince of Darkness---February 20, 1973
86
1
Husband Has Clothes for All Occasions---May 8, 1979
87
2
Jim Is Retired---May 19, 1985
89
1
My Social Life---November 3, 1985
90
1
Clippers---April 26, 1987
91
1
Car Heater---December 11, 1988
92
1
Husband Reads at Night---March 14, 1989
93
2
Husband Preempts His Christmas Gifts---December 10, 1992
95
2
Home Sweet Home
Household Hints---September 11, 1965
97
1
The Home Handyman---January 18, 1966
98
2
The American Clothesline---April 20, 1967
100
1
Getting Locked Out---July 8, 1968
101
1
No Pencil in the House---February 17, 1969
102
2
The Husband Who Prunes---September 15, 1969
104
1
Garage Sales---June 6, 1971
105
1
Relaxing with ``Country Gardens''---October 26, 1975
106
1
Working Wife/Maid Communication---September 28, 1982
107
1
VCR---January 24, 1985
108
1
``What Time Is It?''---November 2, 1986
109
2
Boston Fern---November 13, 1986
111
1
Repairmanese---March 3, 1988
112
1
Eyeglasses in Every Room---June 27, 1989
113
1
Weekends---March 15, 1990
114
1
Changing of the Closets---May 1, 1990
115
2
Swinging Was Respectable on Front Porch---September 22, 1994
117
1
Martha Stewart---September 27, 1995
118
2
Dear Old Dad
When God Created Fathers---June 17, 1973
120
1
Consolidating Cereal, Ice Cream, Cookies, etc.---December 8, 1974
121
1
Stepfather---January 6, 1980
122
1
Daddy Doll Under the Bed---June 21, 1981
123
2
Speak ``Thermostat''---December 19, 1982
125
1
New Generation of Fathers---June 21, 1987
126
2
Food for Thought
The Instead-of Cookbook---November 4, 1965
128
1
Weight Watchers Dilemma---April 27, 1972
129
1
Burning Calories---August 18, 1974
130
2
Dinner Is Ready---May 24, 1977
132
1
Dieting Is a Losing Battle---March 21, 1978
133
1
Seven Days to Make Garbage---May 3, 1981
134
1
Thawing Hamburger---March 9, 1982
135
1
Fruitcake---December 11, 1986
136
2
Doggie Bags---August 25, 1987
138
1
Spices---July 26, 1988
139
1
Older People Only Talk about Food---May 24, 1990
140
1
Leftovers That Refuse to Die---December 17, 1991
141
2
Leftover Halloween Candy---December 1, 1994
143
1
Tooth Traps---June 4, 1995
144
2
The Empty Nest
Daughter Returns to College---January 28, 1972
146
1
Picking Up the Tennis Ball---July 24, 1975
147
1
Empty Nest Overrated---October 1, 1978
148
1
Parents Covet Kids' Closets---August 9, 1979
149
1
``Not to Worry''---July 15, 1984
150
2
My Son's Answering Machine---June 22, 1986
152
1
Remembering Children's Names and Ages---June 14, 1987
153
1
Kids Show Up for Dinner---July 19, 1990
154
1
Parent---Child Bonding---January 13, 1991
155
2
When Grown Kids Come to Visit---December 20, 1995
157
2
Special People
Grandma and Funerals---November 20, 1968
159
1
Love Is a Grandparent---November 3, 1974
160
1
The Volunteer---June 24, 1975
161
2
Mother Earned Her Wrinkles---February 8, 1976
163
1
The Listener---February 26, 1977
164
1
Mothers of Disabled Children---May 11, 1980
165
1
Heroes---August 2, 1981
166
1
Caregivers---November 26, 1991
167
1
Mothers Who Have Lost a Child---May 14, 1995
168
2
Wish You Were Here (Instead of Me)
Help Thy Neighbor---August 25, 1968
170
1
Men Never Ask Directions---August 24, 1969
171
1
The Last Family Vacation---June 1972
172
1
Parking the Family Trailer---June 1972
173
2
Showing Slides of Vacation---February 26, 1974
175
1
Continental Breakfast---August 17, 1975
176
1
Elusive Rest Area---July 11, 1976
177
1
Seeing America by Headlights---September 16, 1980
178
2
Eleven-Piece Vacation Wardrobe---July 21, 1981
180
1
Traveling with Tripod---July 27, 1982
181
1
Alaska Cruise and Smoked Salmon---April 21, 1987
182
2
The Holidays
Children of Christmas---December 25, 1969
184
1
Kids Are Sick... It Must Be Christmas---December 18, 1970
185
1
Family Christmas Newsletter---December 9, 1971
186
1
Christmas Chimes---December 23, 1976
187
2
Son Home for the Holidays?---January 2, 1977
189
1
Halloween Challenges ``No Talent'' Mother---October 30, 1979
190
1
Grandfather's Solitude---December 25, 1979
191
1
No One Diets on Thanksgiving---November 26, 1981
192
1
``Love Is'' List for a Gusto Husband---February 14, 1982
193
1
Thanksgiving and Families---November 25, 1982
194
1
Memory Tree---December 22, 1983
195
2
Christmas Newsletter Winner---December 12, 1985
197
1
Undecorating the Christmas Tree---January 1, 1987
198
1
``Equal'' Christmas Gifts---December 22, 1994
199
2
The Gang's All Here
Entertaining---November 18, 1965
201
1
Mouse in the Pump Organ---January 13, 1971
202
1
My Husband Builds a Fire---December 1971
203
2
``Come Casual''---April 1975
205
1
Party Hostess Loneliest Person in the World---September 1975
206
1
College Reunion---November 3, 1977
207
1
Trip to the Rest Room---October 25, 1979
208
1
Pepper Mill Experience---December 18, 1983
209
1
Grandma's Grudges---May 1, 1984
210
1
Houseguests---August 6, 1985
211
2
Restaurant Conversation---October 20, 1985
213
1
Hors d'Oeuvres---December 5, 1985
214
1
Family Goodbyes---July 28, 1994
215
2
Planning Birthday Celebrations---November 8, 1994
217
2
Of Missing Socks, Promiscuous Hangers and Other Unexplained Phenomena
Socks Lost in Washer---May 28, 1969
219
1
Girdles---May 18, 1970
220
2
Creeping Underwear---December 1972
222
1
Socks Still Lost in Washer---April 1, 1973
223
1
Pantskirt in the Rest Room---September 1973
224
1
Coat Hangers---September 18, 1984
225
1
No Luck with Pantyhose---November 10, 1985
226
2
Crockpot Sock---March 20, 1990
228
1
The Restless Car---October 1, 1995
229
2
The Catchall Drawer
Talent---June 6, 1966
231
1
Even Charity Has Its Bounds---January 2, 1967
232
1
Time---November 17, 1971
233
2
Women Are Financial Giants---February 19, 1980
235
1
Junk Drawers---January 17, 1984
236
1
Box Savers---December 20, 1984
237
1
I'm-Not-Going Syndrome---October 28, 1986
238
2
Fashion Trends Pioneer---October 11, 1987
240
1
Shoulder Pads---December 1, 1988
241
1
Comfortable Shoes---September 14, 1989
242
1
Seize the Moment---June 25, 1991
243
2
Brain Capacity Is Limited---July 4, 1993
245
1
Let's Face It, Not All Ruts Need Repair---April 17, 1996
246
2
Tributes
248